You really coming over, don't trick.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
