if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I woke up under a house in Key West
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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