If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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