I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize