And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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