I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
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I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
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