So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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