yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Girls should come with a carfax report
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
