i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
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