but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
