Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
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