Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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