dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize
