i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
did i walk over a car last night?
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
