Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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