Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
