I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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