he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I love having hate sex.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
