dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
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He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
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You need a sexual gate keeper
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
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