After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
