He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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