Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
