You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Just invented taco cereal.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
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