I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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