and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
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