nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I accidentally had phone sex last night
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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