Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
