We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
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He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
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And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
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