If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Everyone says I win the strip club
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
