Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
