What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
