You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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