you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Randomize
