you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
