No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
