Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
A+ Viking dick
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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