Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I need moral support for this bender
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
