...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
