I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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