u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
