he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
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I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
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My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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