Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
