the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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