Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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