i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
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