it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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