I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Randomize
