I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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