So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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