Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
