woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I think weed is turning my hair brown
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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