Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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