you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
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