i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Randomize
