On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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