Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize