one word: firstdatebathroomanal
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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