the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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