So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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