They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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