Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
