well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
