I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
