hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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