i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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