I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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