Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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